WHAT! That's not Fruitcake!
by Sierrakoi
Summary: *The sequel to 'WHAT! That's not Turkey!'* Vegeta in a Christmas hat? A high Santa? Red Button classes? Popo gone ghost busting? Mysterious objects? Only can mean Z senshi are having a late Christmas celebration.


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Disclaimer: No DBZ is owned by me. ***Tra-lala***

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You asked for it: the sequel to WHAT! That's not Turkey!

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WHAT! That's not Fruitcake!

Dende rubbed his aching hand and eyed the ruler that was being held by Mr. Popo.

"Now Dende, don't look at me that way!" Mr. Popo pleaded. "This class is for your own good!"

"Whoever heard of Red Button Classes?" Dende muttered.

"Well since you have a knack for PUSHING them, I suspect you need to learn to control your addiction. That's why Piccolo has made me your teacher. Now, let's try this again," Mr. Popo instructed. He set a small toy on the table, a kiddie flashlight, with a large red button on the side for you to turn the light on with.

Dende frowned, staring at the button threateningly. "Mr. Popo, this is ridiculous..."

Mr. Popo sighed out of his nose as he turned to look out at the sky from the room they were in. "For your own good, Master Dende-" he whirled around and promptly wrapped Dende's hand, which had been reaching for the button "-for your own good."

Dende whimpered, cradling his throbbing hand. "Do you think I have a real addiction, Mr. Popo?"

Mr. Popo shrugged. "Looks like it."

"Do you really go ghost-busting?"

Mr. Popo looked flustered. "Goodness no, who told you that??"

"Oolong."

Mr. Popo made a mental note to have pork chops for dinner. "Well, class over for today Master Dende. Goodness me, that rhymed..."

Dende yawned and rose from the table. "Well, I'm retiring. See you, Mr. Popo..."

As Dende started to exit the room, Mr. Popo coughed. "Dende?"

Dende turned and blinked. "Yeah?"

"The flashlight."

Dende looked down at the flashlight he held in his hands and blushed.

"Er...yeah. Here." With a quick flick of his wrist, Dende set the flashlight down and hurriedly left the room before he was tempted again.

-_-_-_-

"Look what I got in the mail!"

Gohan swiveled his head to look and saw a fashionable letter/invitation Chi-Chi was holding. She was practically beaming.

"An invitation from Capsule Corp?" Gohan asked absently. 

"Yes! It came with a ribbon too!" Chi-Chi squealed.

Gohan shook his head, sweat dropping. "Let me guess, a late Christmas picnic. Just like the late Thanksgiving picnic...that turned out to be a disaster."

Chi-Chi huffed, hands on hips. "It was not a disaster!"

Goten chose that moment to streak through the kitchen.

Gohan sighed. "Whatever you say..."

-_-_-_-

"I REFUSE, WOMAN!!"

"Vegeta, get some holiday spirit!"

Trunks watched his two parents bickering in the living room. His mother was trying to get Vegeta to wear a Santa hat...and it wasn't going over very well.

"I refuse to lower myself to perform some human ritual!"

"It's not a ritual, FOR KAMI'S SAKE ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS WEAR A HAT!! Last time you had to wear a SUIT, at least this isn't as embarrassing!"

Vegeta scowled, narrowing his eyes at his wife. "The hat is absurd."

Bulma scoffed, waving the Santa hat around like a banner. "It is not, it's cute! I could make you wear the whole suit, but NO. I'm nice and will only force this on you! Come ON, do it for Trunks!"

Vegeta rolled his eyes. "You know Trunks could care less if I wore that thing," he grumbled.

Trunks chose this moment to make himself noticed, a slightly demonic gleam in his eye. "Of course I would, Dad!" he chirped.

Vegeta glared at his son while Bulma smirked.

"Told you!"

-_-_-_-

A small spirit wandered along the streets of a large city, kicking a rock as it went. It was small, mischievous, bug-looking and agitated.

"I know every sewer pipeline in Japan by now," the spirit mumbled. The picture of Mr. Popo popped in its mind.

"Ohhh...he'll get what's coming to him!" The spirit wailed as it shooed away a few birds an old man on a park bench was feeding. The old man looked confused.

"Why'd you do that?" the old man asked the spirit.

The spirit scowled. "'Cause I felt like it."

The old man chuckled. "Your course in life is to feel what you are to feel, and to make what you do feel as it should."

The small, blue-tinted spirit peered at the old man. "Who are you?"

The old man shrugged. 

"Fine then."

"Do you feel it?" the old man asked suddenly, as the spirit proceeded to leave.

The spirit turned to look at the man again, curious as to his wisdom. "Feel what?"

The old man smiled. "Can you feel the love tonight?"

The spirit sighed as he turned from the old loon who was obviously stuck on Disney songs and pigeon gatherings his whole life. He had important things to do, like get revenge on that ghost-busting Popo. 

It didn't help that an angry pigeon left it's mark on the spirit's head as he stomped away.

-_-_-_-

The day of the picnic. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, old women were crossing streets and holding up traffic.

The Z senshi had gathered together in Capsule Corp's back lawn. Everything was decorated with Christmas spirit, including those oh-so amusing lights that go off when you poke them. Puar was experimenting with that, quite amused.

By some force yet unknown to the mortal world, Bulma had made Vegeta wear the hat. It was set up on the spikes of his hair, and the little bell in the tip only added amusement to Yamcha, who proceeded to poke it at every given chance.

So, Vegeta jing-jingled along as he stormed over to his wife, who was getting the deserts ready.

"How much longer do I have to wear this confounded contraption?!" the prince growled.

"Until the real Santa comes, of course," Bulma beamed. 

"He's a fictional character," Vegeta grumped.

"Not today!" Bulma retorted as she entered her house, grabbing the phone and dialed RENT-A-SANTA.

-_-_-_-

"AHHHH!"

Goten screeched and raced behind Trunks, who was sweatdropping massively.

"Ho-ho-ho, what have we got here?" Santa beckoned. He was wearing a ragged red suit, a scraggly white beard, bare-feet and a face that said he was obviously high.

"That's our Santa?" Chi-Chi gaped.

Bulma shrugged nervously. "Hey, he was the only one available..."

Vegeta watched as Trunks and Goten teamed up to attack the whacked Santa. "..."

Yamcha, on the other hand, was trying to entertain Launch.

"Why does he say 'ho-ho-ho' anyway?" Yamcha questioned.

Launch looked baffled. "I'm not sure. Why?" she asked, sensing a joke.

Yamcha shrugged. "Well, one 'ho' should be enough for everybody!"

Master Roshi and Oolong proceeded to slap each other silly laughing. Launch's eyes went large.

"YAMCHA MADE A PUN!" she screeched.

"And a bad one at that," Puar sweatdropped.

-_-_-_-

Bulma brought out the deserts. She set a platter down and beamed at the gathering of Z senshi around her. "Guess what, guys! Fruitcake!" She lifted the platter lid off.

Master Roshi leaned over.

He's eyes went huge.

"WHAT! That's not fruitcake!"

Bulma looked down, rather baffled.

She screamed.

Piccolo proceeded to try to calm down the obviously shaken up Z senshi as he made his way over. Gohan lent a hand by lending him a stick. Piccolo, with as much dignity as he could muster, proceeded to prod the strange object on the fruitcake platter.

"What IS it?" Krillin ventured to ask.

Bulma got over her phobia and inched over, eyeballing the strange item.

"Hey, wait a minute..." the scientist beauty exclaimed. "False alarm! It's just Vegeta's training socks that were taken over by a mysterious green mold!"

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

"That belongs on Ripley's Believe it or Not ," Yamcha gasped.

Piccolo's mind was on other matters.

"Seems our spirit has struck again," the Namek mumbled.

-_-_-_-

The spirit fell out of the tree laughing. "Life's too good!" With a wry chuckle the spirit crawled down from the tree, a piece of paper and crayons in hand.

-_-_-_-

Piccolo excused himself from the celebration to travel up to Kami's Lookout. Gohan watched after him. "Wonder what that was about?"

Krillin found his way over to the demi-saiyajin. "I dunno. There's lots of weird things going on. Reminds me of Thanksgiving."

Gohan nodded. "It does, doesn't it?"

Then something spontaneous happened.

Gohan prodded Krillin.

Confused, the monk blinked at Gohan. "What?" he asked.

Gohan blinked. "Well, it says-" he was interrupted by 18 coming to join them.

"Oh, there you are, Krillin. Marron's..." 18 trailed off.

Then something random happened.

18 prodded Krillin.

Baffled, the monk blinked at his wife. "What?"

18 shrugged. "It says-" She was cut off by the arrival of Mr. Briefs.

"Hello! Enjoying the food? Sorry about the sock incident..."

Then, something disturbing happened.

Mr. Briefs prodded Krillin.

Krillin, of course, freaked. "WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP DOING THAT?!"

Mr. Briefs sweatdropped. "Krillin, it says on your back, 'Prod me'."

Krillin reached a hand back and peeled off a piece of paper that had been attached to him via that demonic blue glue that you can never scratch off and that always stains white poster board. And indeed, on it was written 'Prod me' in crayon.

Krillin sweatdropped. "Now whose idea was this?"

-_-_-_-

"Mr. Popo!"

Mr. Popo looked up from his dating schedule and saw Piccolo land on the Lookout. "Oh, hello Piccolo!" the genie greeted. "What brings you here?"

"The spirit," Piccolo growled. "It's returned."

Mr. Popo sprang from his seat. "At the picnic?"

Piccolo nodded. "At the picnic."

Mr. Popo frowned. "This calls for some real busting!"

-_-_-_-

The sacred silence that had finally fallen upon the Z senshi picnic while the senshi fed their faces was shattered.

Mr. Popo pummeled through the tables, spam and jello flying in every direction, as he chased after the oddest-looking thing.

The spirit ran, wailing. "Don't kill me! I've got a wife, a home, and over a thousand eggs laid in the jelly!!"

Yamcha looked quizzically down at his PB&J sandwich.

"Hey, maybe the bugs can pop out of Yamcha's stomach!" Trunks jeered. "That would be so Aliens!"

Yamcha groaned and fainted in a small 'present' Mr. Brief's cat had left there earlier.

"IMMA GONNA BUST YOU SO BAD, YO MAMMA WILL FEEL IT!" Mr. Popo yelled his war cry as he chased the spirit into the kitchen.

"That reminds me of 'Yo mamma' jokes," Master Roshi added thoughtfully to the silence that followed. "Yo mamma's so fat, in order to kiss her yo daddy had to punch her in the stomach and ride the third wave in! Yo mamma's so fat, the picture on her driver's license said 'continued on the other side'!"

Turtle sighed, mentally disowning his master.

"Think we should go check on them?" Bulma ventured out loud.

"No need." With a strut in his step, Mr. Popo exited the Briefs' house. He held up a small vacuum cleaner and pointed to the bloated bag. "I got my turkey. Carry on." With that he walked confidently out of the Briefs' back lawn.

Everyone blinked.

"Who wants a PB&J sandwich?" Mrs. Briefs called out.

-_-_-_-

Mr. Popo entered Kami's Lookout and relieved Piccolo of Dende-sitting. They were involved in a game of poker, in which Dende had the most fudge cookies piled up on his side.

"Take him, I was losing anyway," Piccolo muttered as he took his one cookie and left. Mr. Popo sat the spirit-catching mechanism, also known as a hand-held vacuum, on the table top.

"I'll be right back, I've got to go to the little genie's room, Dende-sama," Mr. Popo explained as he left. 

But there was one thing the genie failed to notice.

Dende sighed, feeling he had missed out on something, and looked to the vacuum.

His eyes widened.

For there, a button labeled 'extraction', was very large.

And oh so very red.

"Ohhh..."


End file.
